Aggressive couples
So maybe you know of a couple - maybe you're part of a couple - that seems to thrive off fighting, or at least do a lot of it, sometimes even getting physical.
Some call it passion. Psychologists use the word "aggressive." And almost a third of newlywed couples could be termed as such, according to a study in the Journal of Family Psychology.
The research found that 29 percent of newlywed couples use pushing, grabbing and shoving with one another. And that wives got more physical than husbands: 24 to 16 percent.
Also:
- Aggressive people tend to end up together; the same is true for non-aggressive people.
- Husbands' aggression has a more negative impact on marital satisfaction, but couples in which the wives are aggressive are more likely to divorce.
- Couples don't become aggressive because there are problems in the marriage. They were aggressive to begin with, the study said.
What's interesting is that the most physically aggressive couples - those who kick, bite or use fists - usually tone things down over time. After three years of marriage, they're as calm as couples described as non-aggressive. Because their fighting was so out there, it was easier to recognize as a problem, the study suggests.
Another possibility, the study raised, is that the extreme fighting has been so damaging to the relationship, that the wife and husband don't engage with one another as much, and therefore argue less.
Meanwhile, those couples who are moderately aggressive (throwing things, pushing, grabbing) don't see it as much of a problem, and pretty much keep up their level of fighting.